In a healthy relationship, both partners are happy with their lives when they meet each other. They don’t make anyone else responsible for their happiness and the relationship is just one aspect of their lives. These people have friends, a satisfying career, and hobbies. They were busy with their own lives before they got into the relationship and they don’t depend on their partner for their happiness. Toxic relationships are very different.
When a couple is in a toxic relationship, one or both partners depend on each other for emotional fulfillment. They don’t have the skills to control their own emotions so they put that burden on the person they are romantically involved with. Often, these people get into relationships with others who are happy to do things for them to make them happy in the beginning. Because it’s hard for one person to take more responsibility for another person’s happiness than they do for themselves, this person may get exhausted. However, if they stop, their relationship will suffer.
The most important piece of toxic relationship advice a person can get is help in recognizing they are actually in a toxic relationship. Although it is possible to turn this type of relationship around, it requires both people to accept they are wrong and make a conscious effort to improve the relationship. This is difficult for many people because they don’t know when or why they developed the toxic pattern of giving someone else so much control over their emotions.
Regardless of whether they stay together or break up, each of them needs to realize their role in making the relationship toxic so it doesn’t happen to them again. A person should not put anyone else in charge of their emotions nor should them take responsibility for making someone else happy. It’s important not to get caught up in the fact that there were some really great times in the relationship because those only existed because the bad times were so bad. Breaking this pattern of behavior is essential to being in a healthy relationship in the future, whether it is with this person or another.